Thursday, December 6, 2018

the bank robbery(episode 1 to 10)

I walked into the inner chambers of the
ATM hall to make a withdrawal; low and
behold, an ATM card was in the mouth
of the machine. Was that the mouth? I
guess not! The mouth should be where it
vomits the cash. So I can call it the eye,
or ear….or….okk, not that! you know
what I mean shaa…a card was in the
card-entrance of the machine. The
machine was blinking and sounding a
light warning note, like a notification for
the card waiting for collection. It wasn’t
hard to decode what had happened. The
last person to use the machine must
have collected his cash and zoomed off
without collecting his card.
I looked left and right, the other two
machines were occupied. No one seem to
notice what was going on. There was no
queue, the fourth machine opposite mine
was still empty. I pushed the card back
in slightly. For the next 9 seconds or so,
my mind was wondering what will be
next. The machine welcomed me…or
welcomed the owner of the card with
name displayed on the screen;
prompting me for a password.
I calmly punched in the numbers…
1:2:3:4 and pressed enter key.
Wrong Password!
Well, what was I thinking! Which dunce
in this information age will use such a
weak password. Would have been
surprised if it worked.
“Do you need more time for your
The ATM machine was prompting me to
proceed or get-the-fvck out of its
presence. I pressed the no button and it
ejected the card. The other two guys
making withdrawal from the other
machines left. The hall was empty, just
me and 4 ATM machines. I decided to
get adventurous.
I looked at the ATM card in my hand.
The name of the owner was written fully.
I brought out my phone and searched
facebook for the name. 2min later, I got
the owners full profile and date of birth.
This was gonna be fun!
Born in 2nd february, 1979, there were
only 2 possible password combinations
and after that, no more!
For some unknown reason, I tried the
second one first…it worked!
I was staring at the control panel of the
account…Balance, Withdrawal, Inquiry,
Transfer, Statement….
I heard the footstep behind me and my
heart nearly jumped out of my mouth. I
turned around just in time to see a man
walk into the hall. He looked at me with
a cold eyes, like he was about to jump at
me. I felt a hard notch down my throat,
like a fist trying to suffocate me. The
man was approaching me calmly like he
knew I had no place to run to; like a cat
backed on the walls! I prayed the earth
would open and swallow me! I was
almost having a heart-attack; or a
stroke whichever one kills faster. I
opened my mouth to speak but nothing
came out. I swallowed hard and felt my
throat ache like I hard burning coal in
my throat.
Then, all of a sudden, the man walked
past me to the nearby ATM machine. He
stared at me one last time like he knew I
wasn’t all right; then he faced his
machine and started his transaction.
“Do you need more time for your
The ATM was asking me once more.
Then I got confused! What was I doing?
Adventure at first, but now this was
crime! Pure crime! There should be a
boundary between adventures and crime:
I think I just overstepped the boundary. I
wondered what would have happened if
that man was the original owner of the
card?! Well, the name on the card and
the facebook profile was that of a lady.
Could still have been the owner! A lady
will raise hell if she happened on
someone trying to rob her. A guy might
be understanding but a lady will sure
raise hell.
“Please take your card”!
The machine was tired of my bullshit. It
vomited the card and continued its light
warning note for me to collect the card. I
contemplated on leaving the card there:
just the way it was when I met it. On a
second thought, another person may
stumble on it and wreck more havoc. I
decided to hand it over to the bank
security still on duty. One last thought
occurred to me as I was walking towards
the security post: I checked the owner’s
facebook profile again and her number
was there.
Well, if I was going to be a good
samaritan, I better get some
acknowledgment and a vote of thanks.
I dialed the number and she picked on
the second ring.
It was a rich voice with no accent.
‘Hello…’ I replied and informed her she
had forgotten her card in the ATM
machine at the bank premises.
‘Really?’ She asked nonchalantly.
‘Yes ma’ I replied.
There was silence on the other line…
‘Hello?’ I wanted to make sure she heard
me alright.
‘Yes, I’m still here.’ She said.
She informed me she was on a car to an
urgent function and can’t turn around
‘I will call you later in the evening for it.’
She concluded.
I walked back to the atm machine. I still
needed to make some withdrawals. I
inserted my card and completed my
transaction. Then, out of inquisitiveness,
I decided to check her account balance.
It wasn’t like she will be notified that
someone checked her account balance:
it was only during withdrawals that such
notification is sent.
I inserted the card, punched the
numbers, selected balance inquiry and
I needed to get closer to the machine to
get a clearer picture: it was 8 digits in
the savings account, another 8 digits in
the current account.
Cool, solid cash in millions! So many
thoughts rushed through my mind. I had
to remind myself the difference between
crime and adventure and to stay on the
other side of the line. Moreover, I had
made the call with my phone line.
“Do you need more time for your
D--n this ATM machine! I was sure it
had some evil spirits inside it. Who
knows if it actually caused that innocent
woman to forget her card.
‘Please take your card’
‘Fool…’ I cursed it before walking out of
the bank
I spent the better part of the day
contemplating on the choice I just made.
My carnal mind was at war with my
moral mind. I love adventures, but not
so keen on crime. I have a natural
phobia for crime; especially when it
involves robbing innocent people. But
millions of naira? What more could be
It was a long boring day. I had traveled
down to Ph enroute home to attend a
wedding and spend some time with my
friends at the city. My friend was still at
work: his holiday was just the 25th and
26th. I was lucky with 2 weeks break
from work. Ph hasn’t been all that fun
since I arrived. I was already running
short of cash from endless hanging out
due to boredom. I could really make do
with some money but I wasn’t going to
steal some.
Since I got nothing much to do, I decided
to probe more into the lady who owned
the card. With such millions lodged into
an account, she must be wealthy.
I did a little background check and it
was obvious she was active in the social
media. Her facebook wall was updated
regularly with recent events. I browsed
her profile fully: she was the ceo of a
beauty spa at Abuja: she lives in Abuja
and had two salons at different areas in
the town.
I kept searching: from her recent
updates, she was in ph for an event: a
wedding ceremony. She was a mother of
two; no info about her marriage history
or her husband. Just some random pix
of she and different men. She had two
facebook pages, all devoted to beauty
tips; make-ups, wears, trending fashion
tips, pictures of she and a lot of
celebrities, mostly from the movie
industry. She also had some others I
suspect to be politicians. She had pix of
her trips out of the country: there was
Dubai, London, Paris, Doha, South Africa
and the Seychelles. Then there was a
third facebook page which was for a
closed user-group. Didn’t know what the
content were as I couldn’t access it.
I kept searching:
She was on Instagram so I took the
liberty of digging further. Her walls were
filled with nice pix of her and her
daughters. She had pix with celebrities.
It was obvious she was the fun-loving
type, rich and gorgeous.
When I was bored of checking up on her,
I decided to head to my friend’s place.
He wasn’t back from work yet so I
watched some movies with the laptop.
By 6pm, she hadn’t called yet. When it
got to 7pm and I didn’t get a call, I
decided to give her a call. When she
picked, it was obvious she was at a
noisy place.
“Who am I speaking with?” She inquired
as she picked the call.
“The guy with your atm card.” I said
confidently believing I would pique her
“Oh, you again!” She proclaimed like I
was bordering her life. I swallowed hard
and allowed her to continue.
“I’m in a function and I can’t speak right
now, I will inform you of what to do.” She
said categorically and cut the call.
I stared blankly at my phone for some
minutes and could hardly make out
sense in the situation.
Just then, my friend returned from work
and I told him all that happened. As
usual, he didn’t have any useful advise
to give.
“Just do what you feel is right.” He
answered casually.
What I felt was right? Should have flung
the d--n card away!
Some minutes later, a text message
entered my phone:
‘Drop the card with the receptionist at
Hotel Presidential, tell them its for the
occupant of Rm 19D.’
How convenient! I thought to myself.
Now I’m a courier guy delivering lost
cards. What else won’t I do for her!
Maybe I should just flush the card down
the toilet!
“Did I tell you I had her password?” I
asked my friend who was busy playing
Winning Eleven with the laptop.
“What do you want to do? Steal from a
poor woman?” He asked.
“She’s not poor, she’s rich and there
were millions in her account!” I said to
“Do what you want to do!” He said
I thought about it again. It was more
annoying than I anticipated. There was
little more that I could do at the
moment. There was no way I would be
going to the Presidential Hotel to deliver
an Atm card in absentia like I was a
delivery boy.
“Can you imagine these guys mandated
that I come to work on the 26th?” My
friend asked, looking up to me. Typical of
him, he doesn’t have any useful advise
to give when you inform him of
something but expects you to listen to
his whining about work.
“I can’t wait to leave this company!” He
lamented again.
That has been his watchword since he
got this job. He’s been with the same
company for over 3 years now, whining
about how he hates his job but makes
little or no effort to leave them.
“Do what you want to do!” I replied him.
“Fool!” He lamented and I smiled.
The only time we have a meaningful
conversation is when we talk about girls.
Nothing takes his mind away from
playing games in the laptop except the
talk of girls and when you give him a
listening ear to his whining about job:
that and when he was very hungry.
I picked my phone and replied the
“Call me when you’re ready to get your

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