Thursday, December 6, 2018

little did i know my dad was not my real dad

I woke up with a pounding in my head, causing
me to moan painfully. Sitting up, I looked
around my room. Kodiak and Naomi were lying
at my feet, still awake, and the room was quiet.
Ricky was nowhere in sight, so I sighed,
Naomi and Kodiak looked up as I got up from
the bed, then walked towards the door. When
one of them whined, I motioned for them to
stay, and then turned back towards the door. As
I reached for the handle, I remembered last
night. How many times had he come to check
on me during the night? What did he do to me
even if he was in the room?
I shook my head and turned the knob.
Surprisingly, it was unlocked. Had he forgotten
to lock it after he checked on me? Or did he
leave it unlocked on purpose? I pulled the door
open as quietly as I could, inch by inch, until it
was wide enough for me to just fit my body
through it. Stepping out into the hallway, I felt
a sudden chill run down my spine.
Quietly, I tiptoed down the carpeted stairs that
led into the living room. When I was at the
bottom step, I peered around the corner. No one
was in the living room, to my surprise. I walked
across the living room towards the kitchen,
growing more anxious by the second. I stepped
onto the cold tile and looked into the kitchen,
but saw no one. Where was he? Part of me was
relieved not to see him, but I couldn’t shake the
feeling that something didn’t feel right at all.
My stomach growled, and I groaned. Now was
not a time to be hungry. I ignored my stomach
and walked towards my front door. Quickly, but
carefully, I unlocked all of the locked and turned
the knob. I opened the door, narrowing my eyes
at the bright sunlight shining through the door.
The hot concrete burned the bottom of my feet
as I stepped out of the door. Ignoring it, I
closed the door behind me and ran towards the
stairs as fast as I could. I flew down the stairs
and out into the court yard.
“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” a
voice said as I was pulled back by the collar of
my shirt. I gasped as I hit the hot ground hard.
Looking up, I saw Ricky holding a paper bag in
one arm. He was smiling, almost friendly, but
the look in his eyes was deadly, as if telling me
not to make a scene. I looked up at him,
clenching my teeth in frustration. He motioned
for me to get up, and I did. He grasped my arm
and pulled me towards the stairs. I resisted,
pulling back.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” he
whispered harshly at me. I felt a sharp point at
my side, where my wound was. I looked down
to see he had a knife at my side. He pressed it
against my side, causing me to inhale sharply.
Giving in, I finally let him pull me towards the
stairs. He led me up them and to the door.
Motioning for me to open it, he shifted the
paper bag to his other arm, letting me go. I
turned the knob and pushed the door open. He
pushed me inside, making me stumble on the
way in. I caught myself on the wall and stood
up straight. He closed and locked the door
behind him, then walked past me into the
“I guess this teaches me not to be gone that
long,” he said. I heard him open the refrigerator,
then paper tearing open. I looked into the
kitchen and widened my eyes. He was putting
groceries into my refrigerator. I crossed my
arms, angry.
“Look, you don’t own the d--n place. This is
my apartment,” I said, leaning against the wall.
I didn’t know what it was, but I felt braver
talking to him then I did the previous times. I
knew he would never mean to hurt me unless
he had to, despite when he stabbed me. No
matter how much I hated him, he still seemed
to believe I loved him.
He chuckled, continuing to put food away- in
the correct places. It didn’t surprise me. He
practically knew everything else about my life;
why couldn’t he know where I put what foods?
“No, it’s our apartment. For now, at least.”
“Excuse me? There’s no ‘our’,” I said, putting air
quotes around the word ‘ our’ .
He sighed, but continued to put the food away.
“Well, soon we won’t be living here anymore.
The cabin is already set up in Colorado. We’re
leaving on Tuesday.”
“What day is it today?”
“Well, I’m not going,” I said firmly.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not,” I said bluntly. Before I could stop
myself, I said, “Why can’t you just get it through
your head that I don’t love you?”
He stopped and slowly turned towards me.
“Because I know you don’t mean it.”
The look in his eye was deadly again, causing
me to step backward. “Why are you doing this
to me?”
“Because I-”
“No, you don’t!” I screamed, interrupting him.
He clenched his fist at his side and spoke
through his teeth. “We’ve had this conversation
more than enough. I suggest you go to your
“Why’d you chose me?”
“What?” he said. For the first time, I think I
startled him with what I had said. Nothing else
seemed to through him off guard, but he looked
actually confused this time.
“Why did you chose me?” I repeated, forcing
myself to keep eye contact with him.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Why do you claim you love me? When I didn’t
even know who you were when you showed up
at my house that night.”
Something flickered in his blue eyes, but
instantly left. He seemed as if he was
remembered the past, watching memories. I
watched him shake his head, breaking eye
contact with me. He smiled and laughed
through his nose. “I guess you can say love at
first sight.”
“But you killed all of those other girls,” I said,
forcing myself to keep my voice level. The need
to know why was growing, making me
“What other girls? There is only you, Sophie.”
Now it was my turn to be shocked. “What other
girls? Do you not remember Kimberly Wilson?” I
asked. His face paled, making him look like he’s
just seen a ghost. “She was my classmate. And
you killed her.”
I never knew the whole story about what had
really happened to Kim, but Darius told me
enough. He confirmed that it was Ricky who
killed all of those other girls. The DNA tests
matched all of them. He’d killed all of them,
including a few guys. I remembered the
assembly we had, over a year ago, about what
had happened, and I knew I would never forget
He spoke through his teeth again, clenching
them together with force. “Never say her name
again. She didn’t love me, so I had no choice.”
“But I don’t love you, and you haven’t killed me,”
I said, taking the risk. What I said didn’t come
out the way I wanted to, but I knew he’d grasp
the concept of what I was trying to ask.
He turned away, breaking eye contact again.
“You’re different.”
“Because I know you’re the one.”
I sighed, knowing I would never get a real
reason. “Fine, don’t tell me why you’ve decided
to ruin my life. Thanks for nothing,” I said.
Before turning away from him, he looked back
at me. I caught a glimpse of guilt and sadness
in his eyes. I ignored it and walked back up to
my room. I slammed my door, causing Naomi
and Kodiak to pick their heads up in surprise.
Crashing down onto my bed, I ignored the
painful throbbing in my side. I grabbed a pillow
and cried into it. I wasn’t sad, I was angry.
Angry at Ricky, angry at myself. I heard a soft
knock at my door, then the tiny squeak as it
“Go away,” I mumbled into the pillow, loud
enough for him to hear. He sighed frustratingly,
and I heard him step into the room.
“Sophie, I’m sorry-”
“I said go away!” I yelled, not caring if he got
angry or not. It wouldn’t make a difference if he
hit me or not. At this point, I didn’t think I
would care. I knew he wouldn’t, though. If I’d
learned anything about him after everything
he’s done to me, it’s that I know he doesn’t
hurt me unless he’s forced to.
“Alright, I’ll give you some time alone. I’ll bring
your dinner up in a few hours.”
“Don’t bother. I’m not going to eat.”
He sighed once more and said “Her name was EMMA”, and then I heard the door
finally shut. I didn’t heard the click of the lock,
so I assumed he’d left it unlocked.
For three hours, I sat on my bed, letting the
tears roll down my cheeks as I stroked Naomi
and Kodiak. Every once in a while one of them
would lick my cheek several times, trying to
wipe away the tears. I was grateful I had both
of them, but something told me I would never
see them again if I didn’t escape before
Tuesday. I knew it was useless though. Ricky
was psycho, not stupid. But I knew I couldn’t
give up, even if it meant I had to kill him.
Something told me, that if it got to that point, I
wouldn’t have a hard time doing it. After what
he’s done to me, to my family, to Justin, I knew
I wouldn’t even think twice if given the
I looked over at the door when I heard a soft
“Sophie?” Ricky said from the other side of the
door. I turned away as he opened the door and
stared up at the ceiling again. “Sophie.”
“What?” I whispered.
“Dinner’s ready.”
“I’m not hungry.”
I heard him walk into the room and set a plate
on my bedside table. The smell of garlic bread
drifted past my nose, causing my mouth to
water. The bed shifted as he sat beside me. I
felt his hand slide onto my stomach and turn
me towards him. I pulled back, edging away
from him. When he pulled me back to him, I
finally turned around, glaring at him.
“What do you want?”
“For you to eat, Sophie. You can’t starve
I turned away from him again, hugging a pillow.
I heard either Naomi or Kodiak growl quietly,
but stayed by my feet. “Watch me.”
“Sophie,” he said with a hint of warning in his
voice. “Eat.”
“No. When I’m hungry, I’ll eat.”
He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him,
which startled me for a split second. He
grabbed both of my shoulders and squeezed
them, causing me to wince in pain. Both Naomi
and Kodiak were growling, louder now, but they
didn’t move. Ricky’s eyes were full of anger, but
they were also filled with sadness and longing.
“Sophie, I said eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” I whispered, glaring back at
him. Just then, he kissed me. It startled me,
but scared me at the same time. One thing that
I don’t think I will ever figure out about Ricky is
how fast his mood changes. One minute he’s
angry with me, then the next he’s kissing me,
as if trying to say sorry. I tried to pull back,
feeling the disgusted feeling grow every moment
our lips were connected. It was no use, though.
The kiss was filled with force and anger. When
he pulled back I dropped back down on the bed,
gasping for breath.
“Stop doing that!” I yelled, holding my hand up
to slap him. He grabbed my wrist and held it in
“Don’t you dare raise a hand to me, Sophie.”
“Or what, you’ll kill me?” I said, feeling all of the
fear drain out of my body. It was replaced with
anger and bravery. I wasn’t afraid of him
anymore. I’d had enough of him. I’d had enough
of his little game. I watched as his eyes filled
with regret and burned with anger, like they had
“I could never kill you, Sophie. I love you. And
we are going to be together forever.”
Something in his voice sent shivers up my
spine. He’d said it so calmly that the fear
began to trickle back into me. Giving up, I
pulled my hand away and back up to the other
side of the bed.
“Just get out,” I finally said, turning away from
him. I felt him get up off of the bed and heard
him walk towards the door.
“Sweet dreams, my love,” he whispered, closing
the door. And this time, I heard the click of the
lock after I heard the door finally close.
“EMMA” I thought…

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